Beauty/Wisdom

Beauty: It has been at least a year since I last saw a sunrise. In the last 48 hours God has blessed me with the opportunity to see two.

Wisdom:This is sort of a repeat. Still, I feel it's important. I got to thinking about that upper echelon of Christianity, those people that just walk into a room and light it on fire with their spirit. You know what I'm talking about, the kind of people, you probably even just thought of one or two or more. There are people out there that seem completely possessed with the Holy Spirit, people that are capable of doing unbelievable things. The sort of people who decide that they're going to change something for God, and make it happen.

So what's the point? Well I began wondering why all Christians aren't like that. For lack of a better term, let's say that these are the Christians that Paul suggests should be eating meat, and I'm the sort of Christian who should be drinking milk. I started considering the differences between them and myself. As I thought it over, I realized one stunning difference between us. The people that I am looking up to, the people that I want so desperately to be like, these people are not perfect. They are open about their sin, and open about their brokenness.

I think a lot lately about how hard I try to hide my sin. I re-read this blog, and I see so much about unity and about the importance of openness, and I realize how those two things go hand in hand. We can't be unified if we keep secrets from each other. We can't defend each other from Satan if we don't understand how he attacks each of us.

I make a great effort to hide my sins from the world. I wallow in shame and I stay buried in my own thoughts, doing all that I can to overcome myself on my own. There were people just like me in the bible, and once again, my greatest fear has come true. They were the Pharisees.

I am not saying that we should have hours upon hours of confession in church. I'm not saying we shouldn't. I'm saying that God doesn't want to wait for another perfect human to come to him, he's asked for the imperfect. God isn't waiting for us to put ourselves together before we come to him completely, he's asking us to give him what we have and he'll do something with it.

I cannot stress this enough: God loves imperfect people. He loves to work with them, through them, and in them. Your sin is terrible and hurtful to God, but the only way to make things right and to be set free from it is to be open about it, and to be healed.

If I am ever going to be a champion of the faith, if I am ever going to change the world, I have to learn to quit covering up my sin, and to let God work through my brokenness. His grace is sufficient, and it always will be.

(jake)

Forest/Trees

I'm a big thinker. I don't really waste time thinking about what I'll wear or eat tomorrow, I don't give a lot of thought to the week ahead, I spend my time considering the next several years. I spend my time brainstorming about how I can reach the most people in the biggest way. I don't really consider where I'd like to teach, I consider which foreign country I'd like to go do relief work in first. It's just how my brain works.

Maybe that's why I have so much trouble hearing the voice of God sometimes. I'm not saying that the Lord doesn't think big. In fact, God thinks in huge ways. You know, redeeming the souls of all humanity kinds of ways. But God doesn't let himself get consumed by the big things.

I recently spent some time reading the parable of the talents. It's interesting to me that in this story the master gives more to the people who are faithful with a little. Or maybe we could jump back to Elijah on the mountain? He doesn't hear God in the miracles and disasters, he hears God in the whisper.

I tend to spend a lot of my time seeking God in the big things. I spend my time looking for miracles and revelations, when my day to day life has plenty of miracle in them in the first place. Or maybe my problem is that I don't feel like I'm adequately serving God unless I'm involved in some major project. If all I have going for me is the everyday worship, I tend to feel like a failiure. The irony in this is that God wants to see me doing the everyday worships before he's going to bless me with the big projects.

I need to stop worrying so much about the big things. Not that they aren't important, but simply because if I can't bring God my best in the everday aspects of my life, how can I be expected to bring him my best in the international world saving crusades I want to do?

Maybe it's a little simple, this idea. But maybe that is the idea.

(jake)

Would You Like to Play a Game?

I support our troops. Political beliefs aside, forgetting a few soldiers I have actually known and what tools they were, I actually do have a lot of respect for people who are willing to make that kind of sacrifice, that are dedicated enough to put their life on the line for something they believe in. All that aside, I think that Army Recruiters are downright funny. I spent a whole year trying to convince a guy that yes I was in fact happy with my college choice and no, I wasn't interested in fighting in Iraq so I could go to college. (It was a painful conversation.)

My favorite army slogan to date is, "An Army of One." I think this is really really funny, because an army of one is probably the safest bet you've got. With the exception of Bruce Willis and Superman, an army of one is ALWAYS GOING TO DIE. And yet I think it is very telling of our culture, both as Christians and as Americans.

I have trouble sometimes being a team player. It's not that I don't want other people involved or that I want the credit, it's that I have trouble remembering to let others help me with myself. It's not exactly an ego thing, it's more of an insecurity thing. That line of thinking says that if I don't let anyone help me, no one can hurt me, which is absurd, but easy to slip into. Ironically enough, when I forget about my brothers and sisters and slip into Army of One mode, I tend to slip out of the real battle that I should be in as a Christian, and instead I get caught up in what I'm going to cleverly refer to as War Games.

War Games aren't the real deal. In a war game you get dressed up, you put on your army garb, you even get a replica gun, and then you go and fake fight. Worse yet, in a War Game you don't even fight enemies, you fight your friends. Maybe me slipping into War Games is a safeguard God put in me to pull me out of the real fight so I don't hurt myself. Maybe it's just that I can't find the courage to get in the real fight without friends. Either way, the fact remains that without a full army, I become ineffective, and instead of fighting enemies I fire blanks at my allies, hurting the people that are supposed to be helping me.

I hope you can follow the metaphors here, because the fact is important. At the end of his life, in the book of John, Jesus gets on his knees and ends his prayer career by praying to the Father that his children will be united, and will be one in spirit. He even says it plainly, "So that the world may know you." There is an obvious reason why Jesus wants us to fight together: The end result will be that the world will know the Father.

I need to let people into my heart, and I need to openly share my life so that I don't slip out of the fight. 80 years of War Games just isn't as thrilling as a real battle, and I need some good war stories if I'm ever going to be a proper old man.

(jake)

Consumer Theology, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

What are you doing for the Kingdom of God?

Yeah, I know, twelve people just closed the browser all at once. I'm sure at least one person just unsubscribed to my Blog. Don't worry though true believers, I'm not going to give you any guilt trips, just some insight from my own life. No, "Jesus died for you, what are you doing for him?" no, I'm going to get straight to the nuts and bolts here.

Church and I have an interesting history. At the moment I'm kind of shopping around for a permanent church, kicking around a few ideas for bible studies and whatnot, since I recently resigned as Youth Guy at Hastings. Before now though, I've been an employee at two churches, and spent most of my youth hanging out at one. Growing up the Youth Group defined me, gave me hope, and gave me a place to belong. At the same time though, that very same youth group gave me insecurities, disillusionment and disappointment. I'm not placing blame anywhere, I honestly couldn't tell you why I don't feel at home at Liberty anymore, the point is that it is what it is.

As I shop around for a church I've talked to a few other people about their churches, or about what they look for in a church, why they haven't picked one yet. The thing that I hear a lot is something along the lines of, "They just don't have what I'm looking for." I find it interesting that people like me can choose a church based on the same criteria used to select a restaurant. "It's just not my style, I just don't care for that sort of thing."

So I must now ask myself, and in the process you, a question: When in history has church ever been about getting something?

Not Jesus, not Peter, not Paul, no one ever set church up to be what it's become. I'm not talking about instruments and ceremonies, I don't give a crap one way or another about that nonsense, if it gets you closer to God do it, whatever. I'm talking about the selfishness, the way that I've managed to make church into a social club. Church is about giving back, it's about existing in community with others, and bringing my gifts to the family of God.

So maybe you're like me, and maybe you're not getting a lot out of church. That could be because you're like me and you're not putting a lot into church. In fact, I'm willing to say it's the number one likely reason.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. - Hebrews 10:24-25

See that? Right there. Mr. Hebrew doesn't say, "Don't give up on meeting because you might miss communion or a really good sermon or you just can't be a good person without church," he says it plain and simple, don't stop meeting because others need your encouragement!

I need to get this through my skull, whether I'm in a church or searching for one, I need to quit looking for something that suits my needs and I need to find a place where I can contribute. I need to humble myself before God and find a family to help, because others need me. They need you too.

(jake)

Who are you? (Who who)

I have been running a lot lately. By a lot, I mean about 3 miles every night. It's not something that is exactly characteristic of an overweight 21 year old. It hurts, it's hard, it's sweaty, and it requires great patience to get anything out of, unlike the alternatives, which are sleeping and over eating. Still, I love it. Not just because I'm going to be the sexiest man on campus next year, but because it's a great time to reconnect with God. It's become a daily staple for me, something I crave on my weekend rests, something I get hungry for.

All of that is going somewhere, but put it on hold for a few minutes. Paul writes about the man he wants to be, and the man he is, about how he is caught between who God wants him to be and who his sinful nature wants him to be. Tonight while running, I considered this, the nature of sin, and the nature of humans.

I have come to a revelation, one that I believe is actually from God. God created us. God made us. And whatever we have become, God had something else in mind, something better. Does that jump out at anyone else? In our inception, in the moment of our creation, we were not created to succumb to sin and to fall from the love of God, we were created to revel in God, to live in his presence and to live for him. It is very true that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but consider that! We are not sinners trying to change our ways, we are saints trying to reclaim our identity!

The point to be made tonight is subtle but oh so important. Whether it is when dealing with yourself, or when sharing the gospel to others, the thing to remember is this: The goal of Christianity, of life, is not to change ourselves, it's to remember who we are. We are not monsters learning to be good, we are saints trying to recover our lost heritage, we are the lost children of God trying to return to the home we've forgotten.

I could go on and on about the implications of this, but there's no time for that. Maybe that could be more blogs for more days, but tonight, consider this: Who does God want you to be? Who did he have in mind when he made you? I've spent the last few years trying to seek out the man that God has in mind for me to be, and it's been an uphill battle, but by his grace I discover myself a little more every day. God has great plans for you, don't waste time changing and reshaping yourself, get to work on rediscovering yourself and the God that made you perfect, who loves you perfectly.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

(jake)