Reality check. Not for you, for me. This blog is just my attempt to keep my spritual journey in the plubic eye so I'll be held accountable. But the reality check, it's time to stop and evaluate that ever important organ, the heart. Specifically, is my heart in the right place?
See, the road to Hell is in fact paved with good intentions, but Hell has a crappy department of transportation, and they only paved it about a third of the way. After that it becomes real choppy and dirty with spoiled motives and lost passions. In fact, when you think about it, the only difference between the road to Heaven and the road to Hell might just be the direction you're travelling. Hm. Another blog perhaps.
Still, the point I'm working towards is this; I have a bad habit of forgetting who the enemy is. As I sit here with my newfound love Flogging Molly, I have to wonder just who I'm fighting. See, I'm very big on rooting out hypocrisy, especially in my own heart, but sometimes I forget that the issue is my heart, and I start focusing on other people's hypocrisy.
First off, I have no idea of knowing if anyone else on Earth is a hypocrit or not. Me? I am. I'm a freaking Pharisee. What happens is I get all fired up to fix my own heart, then I notice something in me, then I realize that maybe the rest of the world has the same problem as me, then I figure they must, then I attack them for the thing that I was trying to get out of myself, completely forgetting to remove the plank in my own eye.
I suppose what I'm trying to get across is that I need to stop attacking my brothers and sisters. I've said before that grace covers hypocrisy, but do I exhibit that same grace? The answer is a resounding no. I do not. I attack the pharisees and forget completely that the whole issue was my own hypocrisy. I have no motive to help, just to hurt. All I want is to destroy what I saw in myself. I think it's called projection.
My prayer for myself is that I can learn to focus on myself. I've got a lot of ground to cover. My prayer for anyone unfortunate enough to read this mess is that you will be blessed with wisdom to see the sin in your own heart, and that we can all just start trying to fix ourselves, and end up helping each other as a result.
(jake)
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
A Flowery Post
Enough fighting the man, it's been a long, painful series of weeks here at York College, and it's time to smile a little.
Jesus had a thing for outcasts. Lepers, adulteresses, tax collectors, murderers, he attracted them all. And even though the religious leaders of the day thought they weren't saving, Jesus Christ did. What bugs me a lot is that I think I'm more like a pharisee than a murderer, and honestly, I'd rather be a murderer.
I've always loved the story of the woman caught in adultery as an example of Jesus' grace, but I think that the one I need to be reading is a couple books later, in the book of Acts. I think that the story I need to read is about a young man named Saul, who was so absorbed in what he thought God wanted that he had lost sight of what God really wanted.
On the road Saul saw Jesus face to face, and Jesus Christ made it clear that he had plans for Saul. We all know how it goes; this murderous hypocritical monster becomes a loving, gentle apostle, teaching and redeeming across the world, sparing no expense to share the gospel of Christ.
I've never killed anyone physically. I've never commited adultery, heck, I don't even download music. What I've done is far worse. I've killed spiritually. I've abandoned my God of love for a God of my own creation, one who smiles on people who sit in pews and say Amen at the right time, who attend youth rallies and go to Christian Colleges. I've shunned those who won't fall in line with my idea of a Christian, and I've shunned those who needed my help.
I suppose that one of my greatest failings is my misunderstanding of grace. I could take the easy way out here and blame the Church of Christ and it's bitter reactionary stance on once-saved doctrine, but the reality is that I beat myself up and treat myself like crap, and it doesn't do anyone a bit of good. In fact, it's like I'm telling Jesus that his sacrifice isn't enough.
Read this next line carefully. Re-read it. Pay attention.
Grace covers even hypocrisy. Even a Pharisee can be born again.
It's easy to get angry and throw my fist up in the air. Being mad at myself is simple. Being frustrated with my friends is no problem. The hard part is sitting down once in a while and remembering that no matter how messed up I am or my world is, God died for me, and he's strong enough to create this Earth, strong enough to forgive a bald kid with a sharp tounge. It even covers the sin of underestimating grace.
Even if you hate snow, smile a little tonight. Jesus died for you, and his blood is powerful enough to forgive Saul, it's powerful enough to forgive Jake, and it most certainly is powerful enough to forgive you. I've prayed that everyone who reads this gets a special blessing straight from the Father, so keep your eyes open, you never know what might happen.
(jake)
Jesus had a thing for outcasts. Lepers, adulteresses, tax collectors, murderers, he attracted them all. And even though the religious leaders of the day thought they weren't saving, Jesus Christ did. What bugs me a lot is that I think I'm more like a pharisee than a murderer, and honestly, I'd rather be a murderer.
I've always loved the story of the woman caught in adultery as an example of Jesus' grace, but I think that the one I need to be reading is a couple books later, in the book of Acts. I think that the story I need to read is about a young man named Saul, who was so absorbed in what he thought God wanted that he had lost sight of what God really wanted.
On the road Saul saw Jesus face to face, and Jesus Christ made it clear that he had plans for Saul. We all know how it goes; this murderous hypocritical monster becomes a loving, gentle apostle, teaching and redeeming across the world, sparing no expense to share the gospel of Christ.
I've never killed anyone physically. I've never commited adultery, heck, I don't even download music. What I've done is far worse. I've killed spiritually. I've abandoned my God of love for a God of my own creation, one who smiles on people who sit in pews and say Amen at the right time, who attend youth rallies and go to Christian Colleges. I've shunned those who won't fall in line with my idea of a Christian, and I've shunned those who needed my help.
I suppose that one of my greatest failings is my misunderstanding of grace. I could take the easy way out here and blame the Church of Christ and it's bitter reactionary stance on once-saved doctrine, but the reality is that I beat myself up and treat myself like crap, and it doesn't do anyone a bit of good. In fact, it's like I'm telling Jesus that his sacrifice isn't enough.
Read this next line carefully. Re-read it. Pay attention.
Grace covers even hypocrisy. Even a Pharisee can be born again.
It's easy to get angry and throw my fist up in the air. Being mad at myself is simple. Being frustrated with my friends is no problem. The hard part is sitting down once in a while and remembering that no matter how messed up I am or my world is, God died for me, and he's strong enough to create this Earth, strong enough to forgive a bald kid with a sharp tounge. It even covers the sin of underestimating grace.
Even if you hate snow, smile a little tonight. Jesus died for you, and his blood is powerful enough to forgive Saul, it's powerful enough to forgive Jake, and it most certainly is powerful enough to forgive you. I've prayed that everyone who reads this gets a special blessing straight from the Father, so keep your eyes open, you never know what might happen.
(jake)
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Unfortunatley, Crazy Pills do Come in Suppositories
I believe that The Tick said it best.
"You're not going crazy, you're going sane in a crazy world!"
I feel that way sometimes. Actually, I feel that way a lot. Before you read any further into this, you need to know that this is not a political thing I'm about to write. It's just my reflections on the madness around me. Now that the guns are being put away we can get down to business.
Today I saw on the news that roughly 12 Billion Dollars in United States money was "misplaced" in Iraq. Now if that's not quite the red flag you were looking for, consider this: The people being blamed for this have used the following two arguments to defend themselves.
1) It's not our fault, Iraq has poor bookkeeping, and the real doozie,
2) $12,000,000,000 isn't that much. (I put all the zeros there to make it look silly.)
Wait! We're not done yet! In other news, earlier today television executives declared that American Idol, the show that gave us such memorable artists as Ruben Studdard and that 80 year old lounge singer who claims to be 20, is in fact, "The most influential program in the history of television." Seriously. This show is just churning out one worthless pop diva after another, and they ALL SOUND THE SAME. CRAPPY.
There are days where I look around at the world around me, and then retreat into my room to scream into a pillow with frustration. But what kills me is that when I point this out to people, they nod and say, "Yeah, someone should do something about that."
Listen up fools, it's time to break this thing down.
A friend/mentor of mine once said, "The thing that killed Nixon wasn't the crime, it was the coverup." It's a good point, one we could all learn from. The problem at hand is that we're all looking to coverup our problems and let them go. Sin in our hearts? Hide it. Church not meeting your needs? Grumble at lunch. Double standards all around you? Ignore it.
Problem is, eventually those things will fester and grow in the dark until they strangle us and finish the job. But bring them in the light and they'll melt like a Nazi with The Ark.
Stop hiding things, let's be honest and let's be open. Please. I'm getting really sick of feeling insane.
(jake)
"You're not going crazy, you're going sane in a crazy world!"
I feel that way sometimes. Actually, I feel that way a lot. Before you read any further into this, you need to know that this is not a political thing I'm about to write. It's just my reflections on the madness around me. Now that the guns are being put away we can get down to business.
Today I saw on the news that roughly 12 Billion Dollars in United States money was "misplaced" in Iraq. Now if that's not quite the red flag you were looking for, consider this: The people being blamed for this have used the following two arguments to defend themselves.
1) It's not our fault, Iraq has poor bookkeeping, and the real doozie,
2) $12,000,000,000 isn't that much. (I put all the zeros there to make it look silly.)
Wait! We're not done yet! In other news, earlier today television executives declared that American Idol, the show that gave us such memorable artists as Ruben Studdard and that 80 year old lounge singer who claims to be 20, is in fact, "The most influential program in the history of television." Seriously. This show is just churning out one worthless pop diva after another, and they ALL SOUND THE SAME. CRAPPY.
There are days where I look around at the world around me, and then retreat into my room to scream into a pillow with frustration. But what kills me is that when I point this out to people, they nod and say, "Yeah, someone should do something about that."
Listen up fools, it's time to break this thing down.
A friend/mentor of mine once said, "The thing that killed Nixon wasn't the crime, it was the coverup." It's a good point, one we could all learn from. The problem at hand is that we're all looking to coverup our problems and let them go. Sin in our hearts? Hide it. Church not meeting your needs? Grumble at lunch. Double standards all around you? Ignore it.
Problem is, eventually those things will fester and grow in the dark until they strangle us and finish the job. But bring them in the light and they'll melt like a Nazi with The Ark.
Stop hiding things, let's be honest and let's be open. Please. I'm getting really sick of feeling insane.
(jake)
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Of Church Pews and Motel Beds
Here it is, post # 1, hope you hate it.
So here it is, openness. It's hard, and it's humiliating, but by the grace of God someone will learn from it. Like everyone else who grew up in the church, I spent a lot of time isolated from the "real world." I was given a sort of sub-culture in hopes that I would get so wrapped up in it that I would never even have to be tempted to do drugs or vote Democrat. I am extremely grateful that I never did drugs, but I worry sometimes that this had a completely disastrous effect on us.
See within this Christian sub-culture, there were a few unspoken rules. For example, sex and drugs are sins that you must distance yourself from at all costs, even if it's your best friend who falls into a trap of that sort. I'm not proud of it, but I've abandoned more than a few comrades over the years because they started to slip into a different sin.
Thing is, while I was making such a strong effort to stay pure of those terrible influences, I was still listening to and occasionally telling gossip. I was still judging people, and I was still falling short of the prize. I'm not proud of those things, but I know that God's grace is more than enough to cover my petty sins. But that's just it; God's grace is enough. The people who fell into the trap of sex? No worse than me and my petty little judgements. We still sinned, and we still needed Christ.
Now here's what's terrible about this whole scenario. I'm 21 years old, and it's not stopping. I'm still guilty of the same things. I still judge people and try to distance myself. Oh sure, I've gotten much better about coming off as a forgiving person, but the reality is that I don't treat 'sinners' the same way I treat 'saved.' Donald Miller calls it like it is: I'm treating Love like it's a commodity, something that needs to be earned from me.
I can't speak for you, but I know I need to fix this problem. How about you? One of the best things about our Jesus is that he gives us a fresh start every day. He forgives murderers and rapists, and he can even forgive us Pharisees. So I for one choose to make a fresh start. Love is undeserved by all, needed by everyone, and will be given freely by me. Try it yourself, if you've got the guts to humble yourself.
(jake)
So here it is, openness. It's hard, and it's humiliating, but by the grace of God someone will learn from it. Like everyone else who grew up in the church, I spent a lot of time isolated from the "real world." I was given a sort of sub-culture in hopes that I would get so wrapped up in it that I would never even have to be tempted to do drugs or vote Democrat. I am extremely grateful that I never did drugs, but I worry sometimes that this had a completely disastrous effect on us.
See within this Christian sub-culture, there were a few unspoken rules. For example, sex and drugs are sins that you must distance yourself from at all costs, even if it's your best friend who falls into a trap of that sort. I'm not proud of it, but I've abandoned more than a few comrades over the years because they started to slip into a different sin.
Thing is, while I was making such a strong effort to stay pure of those terrible influences, I was still listening to and occasionally telling gossip. I was still judging people, and I was still falling short of the prize. I'm not proud of those things, but I know that God's grace is more than enough to cover my petty sins. But that's just it; God's grace is enough. The people who fell into the trap of sex? No worse than me and my petty little judgements. We still sinned, and we still needed Christ.
Now here's what's terrible about this whole scenario. I'm 21 years old, and it's not stopping. I'm still guilty of the same things. I still judge people and try to distance myself. Oh sure, I've gotten much better about coming off as a forgiving person, but the reality is that I don't treat 'sinners' the same way I treat 'saved.' Donald Miller calls it like it is: I'm treating Love like it's a commodity, something that needs to be earned from me.
I can't speak for you, but I know I need to fix this problem. How about you? One of the best things about our Jesus is that he gives us a fresh start every day. He forgives murderers and rapists, and he can even forgive us Pharisees. So I for one choose to make a fresh start. Love is undeserved by all, needed by everyone, and will be given freely by me. Try it yourself, if you've got the guts to humble yourself.
(jake)
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